Is your smart phone ruining your relationship?

Smartphone Connect Phone Connection InternIn the same way it is easy for someone not embrace each day of the week due to being fully absorbed in what will happen at the weekend, it’s also just as easy for them to ignore the people in their life because of being completely absorbed in their Smartphone. In each of these circumstances, the present moment won’t be fully embraced. Click here to read
A Smartphone can be viewed as the perfect piece of technology for the mind, since it gives the mind a way to leave the present moment. The mind needs something to do and it doesn’t have anything to do in the present moment.
The Problem
But, while someone’s mind will be happy to be completely absorbed in this bit of technology, it does not mean that the people they spend time with will be equally satisfied with this. Then again, if these people are glued to their device, it may not bother them that much.
Most of their time will be spent somewhere else, though their physical body will be right in front of them.
In The Same Boat
When two people behave in this way, there might be moments when they get annoyed that the other is not present but this could soon pass. Before long, what is occurring on a screen will be far more important.
The person who’s right in front of them is going to be more like a diversion than someone who is an important part of their life. So, as long as the other doesn’t want too much of the focus, everything should be OK.
When someone spends a whole lot of time on a Smartphone when they’re around others, it can also be a means for them to hide. And if they don’t feel comfortable with being seen, they will feel comfortable around people who act in precisely the same way.
The other person will be too busy looking at a screen to really watch them, and this has the potential to stop them from feeling unconformable. Deep down they will wish to be seen, but the baggage that is within them will have caused them to also have the opposite need.
Ultimately, they’re an interdependent human being, and this is the reason they need human contact. Thus, when this doesn’t take place, it is going to have a negative impact on their wellbeing.
However, when someone is carrying lots of shame, for example, and doesn’t need to be around people who actually show up, it’s going to prevent them from being able to fulfil this need. The need to conceal will be more powerful than the need to be viewed.
Pushed Aside
If someone is consumed by their apparatus and the person they’re with doesn’t spend as much time on it, it is bound to have a negative effect on them as time goes by. At first, this could be something that they may brush off and just bear.
They might end up asking them to not use their Smartphone as much, with the expectation that they will see how damaging it is for them to behave in this manner. They may not get the message, though, and continue to behave this way.
If both of these people are in an intimate relationship, the emotional connection that they have might begin to disappear. Whoever spends a whole lot of time on their device will have already been directing a lot of their energy towards their phone (this might even be their principal relationship), and the other person will start to pull their energy back.
From the outside, it might seem as though their relationship hasn’t changed, and this could be because they still live together. This will be simply an illusion, since the bond which existed between them will probably have said to erode.
Another Example
A friendship between two people can end up going down the same path, too. Here, someone might not spend us a lot time in the other’s company, but the time that they do spend with them is not likely to be very fulfilling.
So, unlike the person who is in a relationship with someone like this, they won’t spend as much time in the presence.
The Consequences
But, regardless of what the context is, there are certain things which are likely to occur when someone is unable to set their apparatus to one side and to be present. The person they’re with can wind up feeling ignored, disrespected, and as though they are not valued.
These emotions are going to be like kryptonite to the emotional connection they have. What this emphasises is that it’s not enough for somebody to be in another individual’s company; their entire presence has to be there.
One Outcome
This is then like how it is not enough for a parent to be in close proximity to their child in order for their child to feel noticed – they need to be fully present with them. A child can be disregarded without being physically abandoned; this can take place by having a parent who is physically present but emotionally unavailable.
Discussing about what is going on might be the best approach to take; but someone might find it easier to look towards another person to fulfil their needs if they’re in a relationship. Taking the second option may wind up creating another issue, while not solving the first.
If someone realises that they spend too much time on their device when they’re around others, they could start to put their telephone away around others – doing so will make it easier for them to truly show up. This something that’s likely to have a beneficial impact on all of their relationships.
Teacher, Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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